Comforting Yourself in a Changing World

For me, there's nothing more comforting than a pair of warm socks, just out of the dryer, on a cold night. In fact, if I keep my feet warm, I can survive just about anything, even the darkest, most arctic night.

And so it is now. Chilled by current world events, I am searching for warm socks. It's not just that cold feet are uncomfortable; it's that they keep me from dancing through life.

Recently, in order to avoid either podiatry or psychiatry-I am not sure which-I polled my friends and associates. What, I wanted to know, calms, soothes, and comforts them in today's changing world climate?

As Kate Potter, Chair of the Board of Directors of the Carl G. Jung Center in Brunswick, Maine, says, "What nurtures the anxious self within?"

* Fur Therapy. Ed Knox, a retired college professor, suggests purr therapy. "I pet my cat. My cat likes it. He purrs. It soothes me." So cuddle up with your cat or pet your puppy.

* Breathe In. Breathe Out. "Watch your breath," says Kate Potter... "I pay attention to my in and out breath," she says. "I breathe in love, peace, and harmony. When I breathe out, I let go of all toxins such as worry."

* Flower Power. Power your happiness with fresh flowers. Tamesin Fleenor, a devotee' of the book, The Artist's Way, takes herself on an artist's date once a week.Last week Tamesin treated herself to $25 worth of fresh flowers from the grocery store, Shop and Save. It was an armload, she says. "I was able to make two

uge bouquets. Everywhere I looked in my home, I saw flowers. It made me smile."

* Dig In The Dirt. Or hug a tree. Gardening and yard work seem to comfort both men and women. Lauralyn, a vivacious young mother, says her husband spent eight hours working in the yard after he saw disturbing world news on television.

Another way to ground yourself is to sit in your yard with your back to a tree and place your feet firmly in front of you. Imagine that the life-force from the earth is surging up through your feet into your body, calming and balancing you.

* Bake Bread Or Quilt A Comforter. "Keep your mind and hands busy," says Rosalie Ober, a retired educator. Although she is quilting a soft, plush, multicolored comforter for her bed, she is also comforting her soul, she says. Baking bread, knitting, woodworking, even painting the walls of a bedroom, can provide cheer and nurturance for ourselves.

* Meditate Or Pray. When we ask a higher power for help, it centers and calms us. "The world situation has pushed me deeper inside myself," says Catherine McIntyre. "I have faith that God is with me wherever I am, whatever I do. No matter what happens to me, I know I will be okay."

* Relax In Nature. "What I do," says my landlady Jean Lincoln, "is feed the squirrels, watch the birds and take a drive through the back roads." Jean enjoys the crimson splendor of the changing leaves.

* Remember A Happy Time. "See if you can fasten onto a memory of a time when you felt safe, loved and comforted," says Kate Potter.

One woman mentions a memory from last summer when she was sitting in a swing by a lake with two college friends whom she had known for thirty years. Rocking slowly back and forth in the swing, she felt soothed and happy. Yet in these stressful times, she says, she likes to know she can return, in memory, to those feelings of safety and joy.

* Become A Citizen Of The World. Emory University offers many opportunities to educate ourselves about the world situation. "Some of our frustration," says Sue Kennedy, a former nurse practitioner, "comes from not understanding what is happening and why." Sue makes a point of reading international publications as well as attending films at Emory about other cultures, especially ones our country is in conflict with now.

* Exercise. Rose Mary Denman enjoys water aeorobics. Kate Potter revels in yoga. Lauralyn and Tamesin thrive on long walks. And many others relax with Tai Chi.

* Bibliotherapy. If you are looking for nurturing, look no further than The Mitford Series by Jan Karon. Karon has written a series of best selling books about a lovable small town in North Carolina, much like any small town in Georgia. My longtime friend, Millie Sandman, says that her husband, Cal, thinks these books are a pleasure, although others might mistake them to be for women only.

For delight and cheer, read Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sara Ban Breathnach or A Cup of Comfort, edited by Colleen Sell. (These books will probably be preferred by women.)

Or try a "run-away" book. That's what Mary (not her real name), the owner of a clothing store in Freeport, Maine, calls books that help us escape. She especially likes books by Mary Higgins Clark. Judy Dugan Hart of Atlanta, recommends Harry Potter books as a great vacation from the news.

* Soothe Your Senses.

#1. Colors. Some say to surround yourself with blue if you want to banish the blues. Pay attention, however, to what soothes you. When I am feeling down, for example, I add touches of yellow and crimson to my décor, but mostly I feel better with tones of blue and green.

#2. Music. The healing properties of the right music are well known, of course. Instrumentals are best, according to singer/songwriter Lynn Deeves, who likes to listen to Australian music when she is stressed. Melissa Ellsworth, owner of Leapin' Lizards in Maine, plays these three calming favorite CDs: Musical Healing, Peaceful Evening (both by David and Steve Jordan) and Celestial Mozart by Gerald Jay Markoe.

#3 Aromas and Comfort Foods. What smells and tastes from childhood soothe you? If you remember your mom's cookies baking in the oven, surround yourself with the scent of vanilla and cinnamon, says Judy, an aroma specialist, in Atlanta. I like the scent of baby powder. But almost everyone feels better when they inhale lavender.

In fact, brain researchers have found that people sleep better when they spray their pillows with the aroma of lavender or when they have a plug-in of lavender scent by their beds. You can find dried lavender and lavender oil in health food stores, bath specialty shops, and some drug stores.

As for comfort foods, no one has come up with a way to taste lavender yet, but fortunately, we sometimes intuitively know what comforts us. Without even realizing it, says Rose Mary Denman, she created comfort foods for herself the week that the Twin Towers were hit. Some savory suggestions: Shepherd's pie, homemade vegetable soup, blueberry pie, popcorn, ice-cream, or pot roast with potatoes, carrots and gravy.

#4. Healing Touch/ Massage. Look for a licensed massage therapist with professional credentials. Or ask friends for recommendations, then pick a therapist with whom you feel safe and comfortable. (You will have to pay for a massage, of course, but I would wager that if bin Laden had a massage every day, our world might not be in such a mess.)

What textures nurture you? Flannel pajamas make me feel as cozy as a baby kangaroo in her mother's pouch. Some of my friends like to sleep on one-hundred percent cotton sheets; others like silk or flannel sheets.

Try putting your sheets in the dryer, with a few drops of lavender oil, for 15 minutes before you sleep on them. Or place a hot water bottle under the foot of your sheets before bedtime, says massage therapist, Staci Groves.

* Learn From History and Other Cultures. Says Kate, "If you study history and look at other cultures, you notice that they pay attention to the fact that the sun always rises."

When psychologist Carl Jung lived in Africa, says Kate, he noticed an acceptance there of the rise and fall of disasters.

So, too, did the Sioux Indians, as noted by Black Elk, a Sioux holy man who told his story to John Neihardt in Black Elk Speaks and When The Tree Flowered. As young Indians went into battle, they were comforted by this battle cry, "Hold fast. There is more."

Contact Bonnie W. Mason at bmason@suscom-maine.net or scribbler8@gmail.com

Home: 207-729-0939. Cell: 207-752-1674.

My area of expertise is research; my areas of interest are eclectic-ranging from finding the perfect ice-cream cone to relationships, psychology, parapsychology, and personality profiles. I just finished a profile on world renowned deep-wreck diver, John Chatterton, for example.