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With the right tools you can help them figure out what kind of adult they want to be and most importantly help them understand the behaviors that will lead them to success and the results they have set for themselves.
A really positive and valuable success for a child that is a follower is to have them involved in extracurricular activities. Choir, band, sports, dance, martial arts (this is a fantastic one), speech and debate. The possibilities are really endless. This means that you as a parent have to take an active role in your child's activities. In this day most children are on their own and at a very young age. Is it any wonder they end up as followers and in activities that are destructive to their lives as well as the families? What can a parent expect when they pay little or no attention to what their child is doing or how they are doing?
Bottom line is that you have to get him involved in some group activities, whether it is church youth, school organizations or outside clubs. A psychologist once told me the best thing you can do for your child is get them involved in an activity that can help them feel confident about themselves. You have to be their biggest supporter and fan. As a parent you are your child's everything and the opposite should be true in action as well as in the heart.
Two of my three daughters (one is still 7 years old...but on her way), are very successful as women and as leaders. They were not only very reserved in school b
t were shy and prone to following which lead to heart ache, trouble and failure. As a parent my choice was intervention in regards to helping my girls through this and to bring out the leader in them. It was a lot of research, trial and error. At times I had to give myself time-outs because I felt I had no influence. I was wrong. They are the women I always wanted to be at their age.
What made the total difference is that I got them involved in activities so that they could make friends outside of school and gain confidence. In middle school, for example, students went on a Biology Expedition for two weeks together from all over British Columbia. There was a lot of bonding and togetherness. Students gain confidence in showing their knowledge and survival skills. They had to be a leader once every 5 days within their group. They still have some of those friendships 17 years later and the leadership skills and self-confidence was permanently engraved on their soul.
Also, get your child involved in more than one activity so that they can find their passion. Once my daughters gained the confidence from these activities there was no stopping them. In fact, I had the opposite problem, as they wanted to do too much. Their success is proof that it works. I believe so much that outside activities are what make kids successful, especially if they struggle with school and friends.
By the way, another benefit of extracurricular activities is that your child is so busy that they do not have time to get into trouble.
Bring out the leader in your child. It is easier and more rewarding than you could ever imagine. I am on round two and my theory still works. Find the time to invest in your child. The investment isn't only for you.